Titus Family Ministry

Marriage Builder Bible Study

Lesson 1

Many people mistakenly believe that if a couple is in love then they should not have to really do anything to improve or work on their marriage.  Sadly, this leads a lot of couples away from the kind of strong, satisfying, and long-lasting marriage that God intends for them to have.  The truth is a good marriage is grown and maintained regularly.

One of the greatest things that a couple can do is to take the time to make sure they have clear and obtainable visions for their marriage. These goals should be a common thread that runs through their lives and binds them together.  Without these kinds of purposeful visions it is easy for either or both partners to lose sight of their commitments and good intentions.  Proverbs 29:18 tells us that without a vision, we cast off restraints.  Having common goals in your marriage will help establish safe and mutual boundaries, and they will help you both make wise choices that will bless your life together. 

Practical Application:  Take a few minutes to discuss this teaching and talk about the things that are most important to you and your spouse: faith; finances; time together; parenting; and career plans.  Once you have come to a mutual agreement in these areas, write down a brief description of these goals, sign, and date them.  This will give you something to look back on over the years to help you stay focused and to inspire you when times are tough.  It will also remind you of the boundaries that are necessary to help you to achieve the kind of marriage and life you both want.

Lesson 2

Loving someone doesn’t mean that you will always like them or understand them.  Let’s face the facts, men and women are totally different!  Combine that with different family histories and personalities and you have the potential for an explosive situation.

For a marriage to grow and prosper there must be a great amount of kindness, understanding, and forgiveness.  In other words, we often times have to learn to ignore our spouses quirks and minimize our differences.  If we spend too much time focusing on the things that annoy us or on the areas where we don’t see eye to eye, we can quickly forget why we fell in love in the first place.  Philippians 4:8 tells us to purposefully dwell upon what is good, right, and noble.  If we will apply this to our marriage, and especially to our spouse, we might be surprised at just how amazing our husband or wife really is.  The more we appreciate, admire, praise, and encourage the positives, the less we will see their faults, and the more likely it is that those faults will become less and less important.

Practical Application: Take a few minutes to list your spouse’s wonderful qualities and the reasons you fail in love with them.  (DO NOT list anything negative or faulty about your spouse!)  Once you have each compiled a list, share them with each other.  Keep your list in a place where you will see it regularly so that you can be reminded of their great qualities.  Finally, make a real effort to periodically encourage and praise what you like and admire about your spouse.

Lesson 3

Words are powerful; what we say can either buildup or destroy our marriages.  It is so very important that couples learn to be careful as to how they speak to their spouse and how they talk about their marriage.

We all need to be encouraged and to hear positive things; words of respect and affection.  Our spouse can either lift us up or tear us down based upon the words they speak into our lives.  When husbands and wives begin to let criticism, sarcasm, and complaints become the mainstay of their conversations with each other, heartache, division, and bitterness will soon follow.  On the other hand, if a marriage is soaked in positive, encouraging, and supportive dialog, joy, unity, and companionship will flourish.  James 3:1-12 show us just how powerful our words truly are, and how important it is to watch what we say.

Practical Application:  Make two lists, one with the kinds of things that you like to hear your spouse say about you and your marriage, the other list should describe the kinds of things that cut deep and cause you to withdraw or become bitter.  Take some time to sit and talk peacefully about each other’s lists and how these words are impacting your relationship.  Make sure that you listen to your spouse’s list so that you can learn to change the way you speak to them and about them.  Keep these lists in a place where they will be seen often, to help you remember to speak wisely to one another.

We recommend these books as great marriage building tools:

His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.

Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Red-Hot Monogamy by Bill & Pam Farrel

Love & War by John & Stasi Eldredge

Differrent by Design by H. Dale Burke

Some Thoughts About Marriage

Marriage is a great gift from God, and is the foundation for society.  Homes and families are built around marriage.  Churches and communities are only as strong as the families by which they are made.  So as marriages go, so goes the society.

  It is time for Christians to reestablish and support marriage wholeheartedly.  We must invest more time, money, and prayer into marriage if we hope to reclaim and rebuild our homes, churches, and society.  I believe it is God’s will that this reformation in America start with His followers.

  One of the greatest and most powerful gifts that a church could give to the youth of a city is to invest in marriage ministry.  Kids need a mom and dad who live to gather and love one another.  They need the stability and security of a solid home life.  Furthermore, they need godly examples to help them learn how to become loving and devoted husbands and wives.  One revitalized marriage can impact lives for generations…and even for all eternity!

  What better or more beneficial area of ministry could a church spend its resources on then in building up and supporting marriages.  I pray God will revive our hearts and empower us to reclaim marriage for His kingdom.